


Manus et magus

by IceCycle



Category: Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey
Genre: Blood, Childbirth, Dramatics from Amberdrake, Gen, Healers, Medical Trauma, No really lots of blood, graphic description of childbirth, lots of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22081507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceCycle/pseuds/IceCycle
Summary: With most of k'Leshya's Healers helping out where the new Clan site is being built, Amberdrake has set aside his kestra'chern responsibilities to fill a need for Healers at the evacuation site after Urtho's death. One woman in labor decides to request the Healer-kestra'chern to attend her. The problem is that Amberdrake hasn't delivered a baby since he was fifteen in Predain, and those were mostly unpleasant experiences.
Kudos: 6





	Manus et magus

Amberdrake understood why Orna had requested his assistance when she went into labor, but he was not still the most pleased about it.It was true that all of the remaining fully trained Healers were tied up with four older members of k’Leshya whose weak hearts were acting up on account of the recent excitement, and the other full Healers had left the evacuation site with the able-bodied young people and mages who would help set up their new Clan site.Amberdrake had set aside his kestra’chern responsibilities for the time being to help out in the Healers’ tent alongside the remaining Healer-Apprentices.Because he wasn’t scheduling clients, he couldn’t come up with a good rebuttle for why his presence in the Healers’ tent was any more important than one of the Healer-Apprentices, when Orna’s mother Linamey had come to call for his attendance.He supposed, who would not want an attendant specially trained in massage and relaxation during the rigors of labor?That said, he had not delivered a single baby since his training with the chirurgeons in Predain, and certainly not since he learned to use his Healing Gift.He remembered what to do, but had never particularly enjoyed the process.He made sure, when he reached her tent, that Orna understood his reservations.“That’s all right.I’ll forgive you if you make a mistake.It’s just that my back hurt a lot with my first baby, and I heard you’re very good with backs.”He had smiled wanly in response, but agreed to stay.

Amberdrake supposed he had done an adequate job in the last few candlemarks as labor accelerated.Orna had asked him to massage her back a couple of times while she was having back labor, and had expressed her gratitude for the relief.But now she was distinctly uncomfortable with each contraction, breathing heavily, despite her mother’s and sister’s attempts to soothe her, and pacing restlessly in between.Amberdrake made an effort to notice, but then block out most of, her pain.He had offered her assistance directly with the pain a couple of times, but she had declined, just requesting massages from time to time, which he was happy to offer.But this was different now.

“There’s so much pressure!I can’t do this anymore!” she proclaimed, tears coming down her cheeks as she leaned over a chair.

“I know, dear, and you’re doing so well with it,” her mother said, gathering her into a hug and rubbing her back.Her husband Turrow decided to stay in the background this time.

Looking over toward Amberdrake, Orna cried, “Can’t you do something to make it go faster?”

Amberdrake closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head.“As I had mentioned, I have not been trained in the use of my Healing Gift in labor.Still, from what I have heard, the trained Healers rarely advise it, anyway.I can offer you a measure of pain relief, though.”

“No!I just want it over with!”

Amberdrake shrugged and sat back on a bench to wait._Standing by_ was the main activity in attending childbirth.Watching her jiggled a clue from his latent knowledge bank: laboring moms often reached a point of crisis just before they were ready to start pushing, which could explain her sudden change of demeanor.He reminded himself not to take her rudeness personally.He was lucky that things had been straightforward so far.She had had only the usual physical and emotional struggles that come with labor for a second-time mom.And she had dearly wanted this pregnancy, unlike many of those he attended with the chirurgeons.

Unbidden, a memory came to him._It was his second week in the lying-in section of the almshouse.A teenager had come in with her sister, but wouldn’t look at him or anyone else.She wailed and cried with every contraction, then stared into space the rest of the time.Her sister tried to brighten her spirits, but it was no use.“Come on, I know this wasn’t what you wanted, but here we are, so we might as well make the best of it.”She had the feel of what he was pretty sure he’d recognize now as having been mistreated as a child, and quite possibly also by the man who got her with child.She was probably dissociating. After an agonizing labor and birth, which he would have to feel again and again at the almshouse, his teaching chirurgeon handed her baby to her.She just stared down at the bundle like she couldn’t comprehend what she was holding._

He pushed that memory away and opened himself a little to Orna to re-focus on the present.If things were going faster for her now, he wanted to review again what tools he had.He opened the childbirth bag he had taken from the Healers’ tent: some oils, cloths, clamps, scissors, needle, thread, knife, a small bottle of spirits, argonel, tincture of grain fungus – and then an emergency surgical kit.Though trained in surgical births, it had been too long.Should his luck run out today enough that she would need that kit, Amberdrake would insist that a Healer be summoned rather than perform the surgery himself.

“I need to push!” she declared.She had settled down a little in the last 10 minutes, and was concentrating on breathing with every contraction, eyes closed, rocking back and forth while sitting on her bed.Her husband was holding her hand, and Tessaley was sitting next to her, just waiting.Linamey was sitting back in a chair, watching calmly.

Amberdrake stood up, then sat back down to grab the bottle of spirits out of the bag._Yes, I’ll need that_, he reminded himself.“May I double-check that the birth passage is ready, first?”There might be a less invasive way to check using his Gift, but he didn’t think he’d be able to tell for sure, untrained, since he would be looking for a different but normal state instead of a sickness or injury.And even experienced women not infrequently wanted to push before the womb had finished opening, with sometimes serious consequences.

“Oh, yes, I forgot.”She motioned for her sister and husband to move so she could lie on the bed with her legs open.Amberdrake reflected that working with an experienced mother who knew what to do did make things easier.While Amberdrake cleaned his hands with the spirits and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, she had another contraction, and lifted her knees up while rocking side to side and moaning.

“That’s it, you’re getting close.Just breathe.”Amberdrake knew his words were superfluous, but said them, anyway.After she was comparatively comfortable again, she opened her legs again.“Tell me when you’re ready.”She nodded after a few seconds, and he talked her through what he was doing to check that all of her tissues were out of the way.With his fingers on the baby’s head, he opened his Healing-sight, and saw that the baby was doing fine.When he was done, he wiped his fingers on a towel and rested his other hand on her knee.He smiled and nodded.“Next contraction, go ahead and push if you want to.”She smiled and nodded back, then closed her eyes again.“What are you thinking of?” he wondered.

Her smile deepened, and she looked over at her husband, who brought over a chair to sit next to her.“I just want to meet my new baby.I want to find out who she, or he, is.”

Amberdrake had his shields up, but not tightly, and with his other hand still on her knee, he felt some of that unconditional love radiating from her.He was a little embarrassed to have felt that accidentally, but it gave him the shivers in a good way and made his eyes bright.He let that emotion settle him.He had been part of a few births like this, where the parents loved each other and their new child, and those had been delightful, if infrequent in the almshouse._It was an older couple, surprised by a pregnancy they didn’t think they could have twelve years after their fourth child.The father gently placed his hand on the baby’s head, now resting on her mother’s chest, and leaned to kiss his wife lovingly over their new child, their other children gathered behind the bed._“As before, if you wish assistance with pain, just ask,” he reminded her, and got back up to arrange his materials nearby for when the time comes.

And push she did.Sometimes moaning, sometimes silent in concentration, family supporting her by her side.The next few she sat up for.A few after that she lay back down.Amberdrake kept an eye on what was going on, but tried not to interrupt unless needed.This event was about her and her family, after all, and he was an assistant.

Amberdrake noticed that she was starting to pull her legs out to the side, likely in an effort to help keep the birth passage open as the baby’s head moved further down.He felt his own heart speed up in nervous anticipation.He silently reviewed the typical steps of delivery, as well as what to do if the baby were to get stuck, if the baby were to be limp, or if the mother were to bleed too much.He had asked one of the Healer-Apprentices to review these techniques with him back at the tent before he left with the childbirth bag, but they still were not effortless in his mind anymore — or in his hands.

This time, she was holding her own legs, partially sitting up, Turrow supporting her back, when the skin between her legs started to shift.Amberdrake arranged some towels under her, and waited, poised.

“I can just see the baby’s head.You’re doing wonderfully,” he narrated.Things were definitely nearing the end, approaching the next crisis point, which would be just before the head was born.He did know what to do, he reminded himself.It had been awhile, but the chirurgeons had taught him well.

“Can I see?” Turrow asked, and Orna laughed a little, but waved him down toward the end of the bed.“Wow!” he exclaimed.“I didn’t look last time. You're amazing, Orna.”

The next couple of contractions brought more and more of the head visible.Amberdrake moved in to provide gentle counter-pressure to the head, in case she pushed too hard all at once.

Her expression became more tight than before, and she was panting.“Could you…?A little?”she asked, voice strained.

Amberdrake was glad she had finally asked.“Of course.Just keep up with the very small pushes.Take this part slow.”He laid both of his hands flat on the skin between her legs, which was pulled tight and bulging around the baby’s head.He let his Gift find the nerves responsible for the _burning_, _burning_, _burning_ she was feeling, and bring it down to a dull heat.

Her eyes flew open as the tension in her face fell away.“Wow, if I’d known you could do it specific like that, so I could still feel it but just not as much, I’d have let you ease my labor a little bit more.”

Amberdrake chuckled in reply and nodded, then tried to refocus her.“And here we are, with your baby almost here.Keep your baby right where it is for another contraction, and let everything stretch out.”Her attention turned back inward, and she did as he suggested.

With the next contraction, the head came out, slowly.He noted absently when he felt a little bit of Orna’s tissue give way as the largest part of the head over-stretched her, and she felt a new stab of pain not covered by his block; that would have to wait.The umbilical cord was very loose once around the neck, and with a quick movement, Amberdrake pulled it over the head, then grasped the head to ease the shoulders out.The baby came easily._Thank the Goddess!_

“Congratulations!Here she is.”Caught up in the exhilaration of the moment, Amberdrake smiled broadly as he placed the infant on Orna’s abdomen.

“Oh, hello!There you are!”Orna reached down to her baby, smiling, tears running down her cheeks.

“Welcome,” said her mother.

“I can’t believe it!You did it!” said her husband.

After several seconds of rubbing the baby’s back with a cloth, the baby pulled her arms in and started to cry._Thank the Goddess,_ thought Amberdrake a second time, reciprocal tears forming in his own eyes.The stillbirths he had attended made an impression on him, and he did not want that to happen to this family._It had seemed like a normal delivery.The baby looked fine when it came out, arms pulled in.But then the heart stopped beating, and he never took a breath.Later, they discovered that his heart was attached wrong, which was why efforts to revive him failed._

_Wow, Amberdrake, snap back to the present_, he told himself, and _shoved_ that memory out of his mind_._Hand still on the infant, he opened his Healing-sight, and found her to be strong.His own heart rate had come down to normal, now that the baby was delivered, and safe.

Relieved, he turned his attention back to the skin between Orna’s legs, which was oozing bright blood.“Pardon, I will Heal this,” he told her by way of explanation, and laid his hand over the opening.She nodded in acknowledgement, but was too engrossed in her new baby, along with her family, all trying to soothe the squalling infant.And so he Healed the tear, with the small amount of energy to direct that short length of disrupted skin and few fibers of muscle to knit back together.The chirurgeons had taught him to use needle and thread for this, but healing soft tissue was something he knew how to do.The Gift accomplished this task much more cleanly and painlessly than by hand.Once it was done, he was also relieved that he did not have to feel the pain from the tear, either.

A trickle of blood running down toward the towel beneath her caught his eye.With his Healing-sight, the blood glowed like a bright mist that faded away as it left her body and absorbed into the towel.Bleeding from the womb was normal after a delivery.However, the last time he had attended a delivery, back with the chirurgeons, he could not see the life force in the blood.It was unnerving to see it draining away.Shaking his head a little, he changed the towel so that he would be able to keep track better of how soaked it would become.

Returning to the umbilical cord, he noticed that it had stopped pulsating.“Who is cutting the cord?” he asked.Tessaley it was.

The debate on whether to pull on the cord was hot when Amberdrake was at the College of Chirurgeons.The bickering reached a peak until both sides agreed to take down numbers for three moons about how much blood resulted and how long it took the afterbirth to deliver under each condition.The numbers had come up _nearly_ even, but each side suggested that their competitors may not have been recording numbers fairly. They agreed to another three moons, but this time with an agreed-upon schedule of pulling or not-pulling on different days, and with two observers present at each birth to make sure that the numbers were fair and that no one cheated.The numbers had been close, but the afterbirth did deliver a little faster in the cases where the cord was pulled gently, and with a little bit less bleeding, though still the same number got sick from too much bleeding.

So, Amberdrake used one of the clamps from the kit to hold tension on the cord, while bracing against her belly to keep the womb in place.Meanwhile, Orna had brought the infant to breast and as a result was paying him very little attention.Her family was focused on the two together.Amberdrake chiefly watched her slow bleeding.He was transfixed, but also wished that it would be safe to turn away.After a time, he shifted how he was sitting and changed hands on the cord.Her nursing should help the afterbirth come, but not yet.A little rush of blood came, and he saw the life force blink out of it as it faded into the towel.Bleeding was going to happen as the afterbirth gradually detached, and he was going to have to tolerate it.

He was still holding the cord, and listening peripherally to the quiet conversation among the family.He glanced back up toward her head.She still had eyes only for her baby, smiling at her while commenting to her husband.How long had it been now?It was hard to keep track of time during birth.He examined her with Healing-sight again, and she still looked robust and vital, so there was no hurry, and the bleeding was normal, despite how much it alarmed him.

He turned his attention back to this stubborn cord.If the afterbirth didn’t come after a little bit longer, he would have to separate it from the womb, himself.And he didn’t dare do that untrained with his Gift, assuming there even was a way with the Gift, so he would have to do it with his hand.Another unbidden memory._They had dosed her with argonel first, but apparently it wasn’t enough, and they couldn’t wait any longer.He had his hand in her womb nearly to his elbow trying to get at the tissue, but she was screaming and scooting up the bed away from him while instinctively closing her legs.It had been nearly a candlemark that the afterbirth hadn’t come, and she had already lost somewhere north of four, maybe five cups of blood. She was becoming weak, and she had a temperature, too.They had tried several tinctures to encourage the womb to let go of the baby’s last organ, but it didn’t help.If this didn’t work, they’d have to cut her abdomen to get it out, and she would need blood in reserve to make it through that, too.He was feeling everything she felt, and it was awful.He finally was able to catch the edge of where the afterbirth had partially separated, and make the rest of the tissue detach._Amberdrake shook himself back to the cord he was _now_ holding, the woman in front of him, the bed underneath him, the baby nursing tentatively_, and the familiar smells of birth_.No, don't think of the similar smells.His current situation bore little resemblance to that one.There was plenty of time, and this woman was doing fine.

He shifted the cord to the other hand again, and again, until – _finally_.The cord moved down, and the afterbirth was in his hands the next second, bringing a familiar outflow of blood, _though glowing, until it faded out_.He closed off his Healing-sight.It wouldn’t really help him right now.The woman’s attention strayed from her baby only briefly.Amberdrake looked at the placenta, and saw that all of it had come out.He set it aside.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to have to press down on your abdomen.Most women don’t like this part,” he warned.“If you need relief from pain…”

“That’s all right.Just do what you have to do,” she said, in that disinterested manner of a mother who is too exhausted after labor to give two thoughts to anything other than her long-desired infant.

She did grimace when he pushed down on her achey womb, a pain of which he felt the echos through his shielding, but she said nothing else.What caught his attention, though, was blood spilling onto the towel, including a large clot._That must be almost a cup on its own._But it made sense that the blood would have been collecting and clotting while waiting for the afterbirth._Now _the womb would be able to shrink down and clamp off its own bleeding, now that the clot was out of there.He pushed and kneaded her belly, and again, to get it to wake up and contract down.Despite his efforts, her womb remained floppy.He pushed again, and was rewarded with another rush of blood._Still?_Perhaps he did need to keep his Healing-sight active.Orna was still looking fine, though the trail of blood down to the towel was bright.He wiped at it and re-established immediately, showing that the bleeding was brisk, brisker than he remembered to be normal.Amberdrake’s own heart picked up a little again.There was still time, but it was time to get a move on.

“Orna, you’re bleeding more than I would like,” he told her.He turned back to his supplies and picked out a small bottle, unscrewed the cap, and handed it to her.“I’d like you to drink this.”The tincture of old rye would take a quarter of a candlemark to work, but having help on the way would be comforting.

Orna accepted the bottle, gave it a sniff, and drank it down.“I think that’s the same one the Healer gave me for my first one.She said I was bleeding too much.”

Well, that could help to explain things, a little, since there were some women who inexplicably always bled too much with each birth.He had forgotten to ask her specifically about her bleeding when he had asked about her first delivery.Even more reason to get all hands on deck.“Tessaley, could you run to Healers’ tent and ask for a Healer to come down, right now, in case she needs more help for her bleeding?Tell them that she is stable right now, but her womb won’t firm up, so things could get worse.”Choosing the right language to express his concern and need for assistance without causing undue alarm was a delicate and imprecise matter.

“Of course!”Tessaley leaned over and kissed Orna on the cheek.“You’ll be ok, sissy.Amberdrake will take good care of you, and I’ll go get another Healer just in case.”Tessaley skipped out of the tent, and Amberdrake spared a thought to notice her spunk.Orna smiled and went back to trying to get her baby to nurse, still mostly unconcerned with anything else around her.Linamey stood to survey the blood on the towels, but didn’t comment.

Amberdrake shook his head in wonder.Some people were so happy to be new mothers.He looked back down between her legs, and that trail of bright mist was still there, leading down to the towel.Hard to say how fast she was losing blood when the stream was so steady you could only tell it was moving at all if you squinted or wiped at it.“I’m going to keep putting pressure on your belly until the bleeding stops,” he told her.“And I think you might want me to help block the feeling.”

She shrugged.“If you think it’s best.”

Amberdrake was certainly relieved that she would let him, so that he wouldn’t have to feel it, either.He laid his hand over her belly lightly, found the relevant bundles of nerves, then wrapped his Gift around them to make them quieter.That done, he pushed down with the heel of his hand, hard, and rocked it side to side. Predictably, he saw another gush of blood, both red and bright green with life, before it dispersed into nothing as the blood pooled onto the towel, now too soaked to absorb much more.

He pushed again into the soft tissue, _still too soft_, and predictably another batch of blood flickered.He took a deep breath to offset his own racing heart.He rubbed back and forth._Stiffen up, will you?_What the heck was the problem?Push.Gush._Flicker out._Push.Gush._Flicker out._Thank the Star-Eyed he didn’t have use of his Healing-sight when he was at the College of Chirurgeons, or he would have been even more miserable than he was.Push.Gush.Shouldn’t her sister be back with a Healer by now?It seemed like forever.Continuing to knead, he took a look at the rest of her, finding no weakening of her circulation._I’m glad, but even seeing that won’t make me stop sweating, because we can’t do this forever._

He was avoiding the next step, which would be to reach inside to grab out any clots and to direct the pressure more precisely where it needed to go.He could probably avoid it being outright traumatic for the both of them with a pain block, and he could probably burn out the risk of infection with his Gift, but he still decidedly did _not _want to do it.Even if pain were taken out of the equation, he couldn’t imagine that maneuver not feeling violating.

He wished Lorshallen had trained him in using his Gift for childbirth, but childbirth was one thing that Lorshallen simply didn’t do._Hmm, it might still be worth a try_.He let his hand still on her abdomen, and moved his energy through to her womb, thinking hard at it about tensing up.He pushed energy into it for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only 30 seconds, and it started to squeeze together, slowly.The next stream of blood burned even brighter in his Healing-sight. The womb felt less doughy under his hand, but not good enough.Pushing on it again with his Gift, he saw why.There was something in the middle blocking it.He pressed in and down with his hand, while at the same time pushing with his Gift.A dull clot half the size of his hand flopped out onto the towel, along with a bit of blood._Thank the Goddess that worked._Getting the hang of using his Gift and his hand together, he was able to massage her womb down until it was like a rock in his hand.She would have been feeling an awful cramp by now if not for his block.He glanced up, only to see Orna smiling tiredly while stroking her sleeping baby’s head.He took a clean cloth from his supplies pile and wiped the skin between her legs.Experimentally, he pushed down on her womb, but nothing more came out.He watched, then tried again.Her skin stayed clean.

Amberdrake exhaled his tentative relief and shifted on the bed.He left his hand on her abdomen to “watch” with his Gift.He Saw a blue energy seeping into her womb through her blood._That must be the tincture taking effect_.A few minutes later, the womb was still clamping down on its own.Her skin was clean.He looked up toward the ceiling of the tent, closed his eyes, and took a few steadying breaths. With the crisis over, his energy left him. He could have lain on the bed right there next to her, so enervated he felt.

Instead, he stood up and walked over to her head.She had her baby on her chest, a blanket draped over them both.“You’re doing well,” he told her, though saying the words reassured himself, as well.He tried to smile.“Your bleeding has stopped.You are safe.Later, you will need to drink another tincture, though.”

“Thank you, Amberdrake.I am happy you were here to help me.I love her already.”She smiled at him before dropping her gaze back to her baby, sparing a glance at Turrow beside her, whose hand she clasped with the one not resting on her baby.

“May I see her?” he asked.

She nodded and lifted the blanket away from her face.There she was, eyes closed, sleeping, calm, small chin tucked back.Some fine hairs covered her head. Her breathing was fast like a newborn but comfortable.

“Congratulations, Orna,” Amberdrake said, and meant it.“She’s beautiful.And she is lucky to have you as her mother.”He went back to sit on the foot of the bed and rested his hand on her leg, still watching to reassure himself that she was all right.Things could have been bad, but had stopped before it actually became bad.His skills were, surprisingly, mostly intact after all this time.This was a lovely family, and they had invited him to bear witness and assistance to this event.This was so very different from his usual kestra’chern duties.

He heard quick footsteps in the distance, getting louder as they approached.The tent flap rustled, and Amberdrake looked over to see the Lady Cinnabar standing at the threshold, taking in the scene.Tessaley came in just behind her, anxiety in her eyes.

“Amberdrake.”She strode over and placed a hand on his shoulder, eyes soft.“I came as soon as I could leave my patient.It appears, however, that I needn’t have hurried.What has happened?”

“Cinnabar.Thank you for coming.”He leaned into her hand.Even though the situation had stabilized, he still felt like a burden had been lifted from him, being able to turn over the situation to his friend, who was competent to handle it.“Orna had a fine delivery, but then bled for a long time.I think it was just that her womb wouldn’t firm up, which apparently happened with her first delivery, too.She got one dose of old rye tincture, which took effect not long ago.I was able to use my Gift a little to avoid going in with my hand.She stopped bleeding, and now has good tone.”He reached over to check that was still true.“I haven’t totaled up the blood she’s lost, but she has looked strong to me.”

“And so you say you have not delivered a baby in many years,” Lady Cinnabar teased, raising one eyebrow.She turned to Orna. “Congratulations on your new baby!I am Healer Cinnabar.I will check your Healer Amberdrake’s fine work.”

“Thank you, my lady.I am feeling fine.”

Cinnabar placed a hand on Orna’s forehead, entering a trance, then placed her other hand on Orna’s abdomen.She opened her eyes, and said to Amberdrake, “I agree.She has lost a considerable amount of blood, but not so much that her body isn’t able to handle it.Her womb is firm for now, though I would still advise she take a second dose of tincture in a candlemark to make sure it doesn’t loosen up again and resume bleeding.I find no other defect.”Gesturing toward the blanket covering her chest, she asked Orna, “May I?”Orna pushed back the blanket covering the infant’s head, and Cinnabar cooed over her before laying a hand on her small forehead.Smiling back at Orna, she commented, “She is well.”Cinnabar then stood up and walked down toward her feet.She removed the towels from under her bottom, weighed them in her hands, and leafed though the folds.“This must be about five cups.”An eyebrow quirked, she commented to Amberdrake, “Just in time.”Somewhere around six cups was the inflection point beyond which bleeding would become dangerous.Looking back up at Orna, she instructed, “If you have another child, be sure that the Healer helping you knows that you need to drink the tincture as soon as the baby is born.”

Amberdrake had been tracking her movements, but said nothing.He was grateful for her help and relieved that he had not missed anything else.

Cinnabar set the bloodied towels on an unoccupied chair, then sat on the edge of the bed to face Amberdrake.“Well,” she said to him.“It looks like you have things under control. Thus, I will leave her care in your capable hands.”

Amberdrake’s face fell in dismay._Not yet, not when I’ve just caught my breath!_He didn’t say that out loud, though.“Cinnabar, are you quite sure?”His eyes were pleading.

Cinnabar met his gaze and nodded sympathetically.Reaching out to his shoulder, she got up to stand behind him, kneading his neck and shoulders.Amberdrake knew that Cinnabar could read his tension from the knots in his muscles.Her skill at massage did not approach that of a kestra’chern, but it felt good, and he gladly accepted the comfort from his friend, who right now was his superior colleague.He again leaned into her touch.“I am quite sure, Healer Amberdrake.You did everything right, and she is safe.I am nearly certain that, with the tincture, she will not have a reprise.Still, in the unlikely case that another complication should arise, I am confident that you will be able to manage it – with your Gift as well as your hands and mind.”She patted both his shoulders and took a step to face him.Dropping her voice for emphasis, “Come find me this evening, and we will talk the case through, start to finish.”Amberdrake nodded.He did trust Healer Cinnabar’s assessment of the situation, even if not necessarily of his skills.

As she exited the tent flap, she turned back, drawing a small bottle from a pocket.“Oh, and here’s her other dose of tincture.”Then she was gone.

Amberdrake looked at Orna and Tessaley, who were smiling, and shrugged.

Later, on his walk back to his tent, Amberdrake reflected that he had actually enjoyed attending Orna in childbirth.The advantages of assisting while in possession of a Healing Gift were plain, compared with the physical and emotional torment he had to co-experience in the almshouse when he was fifteen.If he understood how and when to use his Gift under these circumstances, he might be able to focus more on the amazing event that was taking place.Come to think of it, he wouldn’t mind being involved with one of these every so often, at least when it would be a happy occasion for a family.When combined with the happiness of someone like Orna, the nature of the pain was not overwhelming to him.Even with how dangerous birth can be occasionally, he would be willing to undertake that risk, if he could refresh and augment his skills.He made a mental note to talk with the Chief Healer, when he returned from the new settlement, about training his Gift for use in childbirth.

It occurred to him that his responses when he was with Orna may have been unduly colored by negative experiences during his early training.If someone had reported to him being hit with traumatic memory after traumatic memory when attending to a difficult task, he would suspect, well, the aftereffects of incompletely addressed trauma.His old mentor Lorshallen had healed him, but Amberdrake knew as well as any other kestra’chern that sometimes experiences re-surfaced in new ways across the lifespan, when they’d previously seemed resolved.There were plenty of other painful experiences that did _not_ re-surface today.Perhaps, maybe, if it didn’t get better once he had renewed his experience, he should bring the problem to Lionwind, his Clan Chief who once had been a mentor to him, and was also a Mindhealer.

For tonight, he would learn what he could from debriefing with Cinnabar.

And he would look forward to checking on Orna and her new baby tomorrow.


End file.
